I’m no expert on relationships and stuff, but I’m willing to guess one of the biggest problems facing young people is marriage…and about getting married.
Now when I talk about stuff like this to my friends however, one of the statements that drive me up a wall is:
“Marriage? Are you crazy; I’m just 25 now!”
…as if it were illegal to get married before you were 30 or something.
Of course, some of my other friends think on a different line, which goes something like,
“What’s the hurry? Why can’t you wait till you’re more mature – after all this is a huge step.”
Which makes me think…its okay to have a boyfriend-girlfriend thing going on; make out on college campuses, watch less-than-family-flicks in shady dark dormitories, try to make a pass with the waitresses at the café and try to hit on the new recruits at work…but its not okay to get married?
There’s something seriously wrong with the whole system here!
Let’s be honest here; boys and girls start wondering about each other all along ever since you hit like 13 or so; and there’s nothing to lie about here – physical attraction is one of the most instinctive of instincts; and part of what makes us human.
So where’s the problem here?
The problem lies with the fact that people go on with their instincts and follow the signs alright – except that they don’t wanna commit on a relationship and call it marriage because of the bundle of responsibilities that come with the package.
Why?
Because of the safety margin that leaves room for error – boyfriends to dump; that cute girl in the next office to look at, the date you went on and later decided she’s not your type…the endless possibilities.
Now the trouble is, even after people do find their type, they future-plan their marriage to say like three years from now…because it leaves space to get ‘settled’ before getting married.
I’m really not aware of any rule that states you WILL settle when you hit 29 but what this really shows is the lack of Tak’wah and the fact that all provisions come from Allah. If you get that point straight, you’re on the right track.
Otherwise, if you’re 29 and not yet settled, the only driving force is the desperation when you know its already too late wait any longer.
So the big question is: what do I do?
Simple. Trust your heart…and not the reasons that everyone else throws at you.
And when you know you need to get married, pray, and just do it!
11 comments:
Well.....nice to see a guy who seems to have the ability to think straight and simple when the million dollar question is asked!
Bang on brother!!! you hit the nail on the head :D
High time we accepted our own judgments and not succumbed to external influences...
If getting married at the right age is one of the concerns,the other is the materialistic way of living of the partners. Many, many of my friends live separate, not because they have problems, but because the lady cannot move out with her husband because of her work. I hate this career oriented and less family oriented attitude of people!!
If getting married at the right age is one of the concerns,the other is the materialistic way of living of the partners. Many, many of my friends live separate, not because they have problems, but because the lady cannot move out with her husband because of her work. I hate this career oriented and less family oriented attitude of people!!
@ela
Hmm, I always believe that life, in itself is quite simple. It is us who add the unnecessary complications.
Although I must say, I wish it were that simple.
@issam
Yo, bro. Hope you understood who this post was dedicated to...
:D
@Faiza
I think the basic problem is with the society setup that wants us to believe that careers a.k.a. money, security and a good house, are the most important things in life.
Someone needs to change that. Let's BE that someone...
Good One bro,
I guess You have all the maturity needed, :D ...
When i was travelling back to germany after a short trip to chennai, i had a conversation with an american lady, when she said, she likes men but doesnt want to get married or to get children, cuz of the burden associated with (by burden she means responsibilities).. she was 38, I replied her from thirukkural , "yaazh inithu kuzhal inithu enbaar , Mazhalai sol kelaathaar"
Islamically Marriage is Half of Deen, and One should desire to fulfill it asap.
Indian culture is far better than the west, But still there are BiG Bull shits prevalent in us..
DOWRY, Caste System, Astrological Dhoshams , Irrespective of Religion (even among the muslims of tamil nadu).
One of my kayalpatnam friend also expressed similar thoughts as you. he is willing to marry a muslim girl but his parents are not agreeing cuz she is of other caste (Not of kayalpatnam origin). Origin, Origin Origin, kayal patnam origin or not, tamil speaking origin or not, Urdu speaking origin or not, while Islam says all the human origin is from the same Adam.
One of my Hindu brother asked me, "Engalukkulla thaan ipdi oorupatta karumangal irukku, Ningalumaa(Muslims) ipdi irukkinga ?"...
@rayees
Yup, that american lady is exactly the type I'm talking about here...but at least for her, I don't blame her because that's the culture in the west:
Get married if you want to; but if you don't feel like it, you don't have to.
Its the semi-crossover culture we have in India is the problem...people think they HAVE to get married, but don't want to, so they give it all sorts of excuses to delay it. But at the same time, dont wanna give it up completely.
man !! its jus wat i wanted to say to people... its absouletly on center of dart board....
So Rahman did you manage to make up your mind on what you are going to do?
Good straight thinking of urs.
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